Slurs in Education
I had an incident recently where my English teacher said the T-slur (the one against transgender people; I don't want to say it) while going over vocabulary for a short story about transphobia we were reading in class. No, my teacher is not transgender or gender non-conforming in any way. She should not have said that whatsoever. I don't care that it was for educational purposes, she shouldn't have said it. And the way she said it so casually really rubbed me the wrong way; she said it like it was just another word and not something that has been used to oppress people like me for who knows how long. She wouldn't have said the N-word, but she was perfectly fine saying the T-slur?
The short story we were reading also had slurs in it; the T-slur and F-slur. I stepped out of the room before they could start reading it aloud, because I am not comfortable with a class full of cisgender men and women, taught by cisgender women, discussing a topic that is very sensitive for me and many others. I don't know if they said the words while reading, and I don't think I want to know. I read it in a quiet room by myself and, quite frankly, cried while doing so. It hit hard. It was good, and it was written by a transgender author.
Now, I'm not saying that everything related to discussing transphobia and homophobia is bad. It's not. It's a very important topic that is becoming more and more relevant (or, has been relevant, but only being spoken about now) in society. Students (and everyone for that matter) should be taught these things and taught to recognize that it is always bad to say the T-slur, F-slur, N-word, etc., if you are trying to use it offensively and if you are not a part of the minority that the word discriminates against. I also think--and, hear me out--that it should preferably be taught by the minorities being discussed. I, as a queer person, am always happy to educate and speak about what I have experienced, and I think it's important for people to hear those things from someone who has been directly affected by them. This situation is one I would educate people about, because it is discrimination and deeply uncomfortable, even if that wasn't the intention. And no, my teacher wasn't unaware of the fact that it was a slur; she directly said that after saying the word itself.
I tried speaking to an adjustment counselor I talk to frequently about this topic. She brushed off my discomfort and essentially called me dramatic indirectly. She said, "I'm sorry, but--". "But" should not be a word that comes after "sorry". It is not a "but". She made me deeply uncomfortable and made me feel like my discomfort wasn't warranted because of the specific circumstances. She has always done this too; yes, I can be dramatic and I have my issues with grudges and being unable to adjust to discomfort, but as a teacher who specializes in kids like me, I never quite feel comfortable with her. It feels like talking to a brick wall. I can certainly be a brick wall too; I'm very stubborn, have somewhat of a delusional sense of grandeur and superiority, etc., but I still don't think the way she handled the situation was right. She is also a cisgender woman. She hasn't experienced the discrimination and the gut-wrenching feeling of being called the T-slur of F-slur.
Maybe this comes from my aforementioned delusional sense of grandeur, but I think my say in this matters more than any cisgender, heterosexual person's does. I am gender non-conforming and otherwise queer. I have experienced transphobia and homophobia. I have been called slurs. I have felt the gut-wrenching feeling of being called a slur about something that is an uncontrollable, fundamental piece of my identity that I hold close to my heart and am not afraid to wear on my sleeve. No cisgender, heterosexual person has. Even if they claim to understand, they can't understand to level that I and other queer people do. Said adjustment counselor said that these things aren't black and white, and I agree. Transphobia and homophobia aren't black and white, but I don't think it's insane to say that a cisgender person shouldn't say the T-slur.
Long story short, don't say slurs if you're not part of the community they are discriminating against or if you are using them to be rude. Just don't. It's not hard.
Happy pride month.