How School Ruined (and is Still Ruining) my Life
I hate school. The vast majority of people--especially my age--do as well. However, I hate it in a different way.
I often feel like teachers and other authority figures and adults don't understand what I mean when I say that I hate school. All they hear is that one sentence, and while that sentence is very true, it's far more nuanced than that.
I've spoken about this before, but I have severe social anxiety. I also have ADHD and have been labeled as "emotionally disabled." So, I get special education and extra support. I'm thankful for said support, but in all honesty, it isn't enough--I know that sounds rude and ungrateful, but I believe that it's true.
People, especially teachers, don't understand that I am disabled. I do not have any physical or specifically cognitive disabilities. I'm not dyslexic nor do I have dyscalculia, I can read and write and speak, so on and so forth. However, I have many other struggles that are overlooked by teachers. My anxiety is far more severe than they think, I am in a constant state of overwhelm, I always feel sick due to my anxiety, I have very bad mood swings that affect my daily life a lot.
I cannot function like a normal person, because I am disabled.
Onto the real point of this post. School has and is ruining my life. I know for a fact I'd be much happier (or, at least, less upset) if I was homeschooled or in an alternative school rather than the massive public high school I'm in right now.
I'm always drained after school. School is almost eight hours, and my bus ride is one hour. If we factor in sleep, I only have a few hours to myself on weekdays; not to mention that during the weekends I'm so drained from the school week that I sleep through most of it. I am the kind of person that needs frequent, substantial breaks, because everything in life exhausts me.
"Oh, but you can sometimes do it." Sure, I can sometimes do it (whatever "it" may be), but that does not mean it's not a struggle. It absolutely is.
"You did a few laps in gym the other day!" I did, but I felt sick afterwards. My legs hurt, I was sweating, I was dizzy, I was nauseous, I had a headache. Because I "can" do something doesn't mean that I can't, if that makes any sense (though, it probably doesn't).
As per usual, I got off track with this post. I'm wasting my lunch break writing this because I am in a room with three people despite requesting and being entitled to a room with very few people. Two of the people in this room are strangers, and one is a teacher I hate.
I can't eat in front of strangers. I'm starving right now, but my emotional discomfort outweighs the physical; I feel like that says a lot about me.